Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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