All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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