wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
