I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
