did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
