There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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