Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
