People with herpes should wear stickers.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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