Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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