My balls are so social today.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
