Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize