I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He shit in the fireplace
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
