Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
