just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
