I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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