I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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