me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
