whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
