my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Semen is not good for contacts.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Bring me that man meat
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
