he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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