In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
