yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I will pee on everything he values.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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