Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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