So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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