Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
