From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
