Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
