Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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