Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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