He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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