I accidentally burped into my bong.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she smelled like a LAN party
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Randomize
