I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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