I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pants are for mortals
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
