Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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