he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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