So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize