Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
