I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
