Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
