do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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