can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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