Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm like, not good at living.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
