I want to stick my p in your. b.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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