and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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