p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
