Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
why is half of my head shaved?
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