I want you more than these girls want KFC
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
