how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
