I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
