Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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