So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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