dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
