it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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