A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
