the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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