i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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