Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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