1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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