Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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