I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
