You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
