Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
