He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
