That's when you crack a 10am beer
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
