some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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