I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize